The Best 10 Away Messages Ever Written By Man, Woman, Or Asshole
Ever since I was a young teenager with a combined five hairs under my armpits, my friends and I have enjoyed a constant competition to create the funniest away message. Lately, I’ve been too busy to play an active role in this competition, but in the spirit of fun-loving web 2.0 and Facebook’s new instant messaging service, I’ve compiled a list of my ten favorite away messages. Thanks to my boy Josiah for generating half of these – the kid’s got a brain the size of a cantaloupe.
Without further ado, I present you with The Best 10 Away Messages Ever Written By Man, Woman, Or Asshole
10) I’m out like a fat kid in a game of dodgeball.
9) I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up a good portion of the screen. In fact, just enough to obscure your IM.
Just say: “I don’t know” to drugs.
7) Up, up, and away message.
6) Remember the time I told you you were cool? That was opposite day.
5) I’m out like Steven Hawking in a game of Twister. (I know… I’m going to hell.)
4) My other away message is a Cadillac.
3) Ask me about my away message.
2) I am not available because I am playing games with your mind. Think about that one.
1) I’m busy studying. Or as they say in the porn business, “looking at porn.”
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