How Important Is Kindness To Success?
How Important is Kindness to Success?
Let’s face it: the world is full of jerks.
Everywhere we go, online and offline, we encounter people who are solely looking out for their personal interests, immune to the emotional fluctuations of strangers, friends, and sometimes, even family.
From an intuitive standpoint, it seems obvious that jerks are putting themselves at a disadvantage. For every bridge they burn, every person they piss off, they are making their future successes all that much more difficult to achieve… right?
Well, in a word, or two words if you’ll be so kind, not always.
Some people, whether consciously or not, are attracted to jerks. You know that really hot, blonde girl in high school who, by some miracle, also happened to have a charming personality? Guess what? She still only dates jocks with egos bigger than their BMWs.
To take a more concrete example, look at Alec Baldwin. The star of NBC’s comedy series “30 Rock” was widely criticized after the abusive tirade he left on his eleven year old daughter’s voicemail, which was subsequently leaked onto TMZ.com. (As if it wasn’t enough that he and Kim Basinger named the girl “Ireland.”)
However, the underappreciated “30 Rock” experienced a tremendous onslaught of recognition within the following months, including 10 Golden Globe nominations, including one for best actor, the certified jerk, Alec Baldwin. Many in Hollywood questioned the future of the foul-mouthed star, particularly after he parted ways with CAA (Creative Artists Agency), his rep for the previous 30 years, but his immediate future, we now know, turned out to brighter than ever imaginable.
Want some other examples of jerks being rewarded for their jerkiness? Well, here you go: Donald Trump, Howard Stern, and Hillary Clinton, all of whom, by no inexplicable coincidence, reside at the very top of their respective industries. (C’mon. Even if you support Clinton, you must at least sense she’s a jerk.) By the way, the vast majority of Hollywood’s A-list agents and managers could be included on this list.
So what now? Does this mean I’m going to start behaving like a complete jerk? Quite the opposite actually.
This past week, I read an article by an up and coming blogger named Tina Su, the inspiration for this post you are currently reading. She runs a site called ThinkSimpleNow, which, in the span of three months, went from zero to over two thousand subscribers. Not too shabby. (Before I proceed, let me shout out to Jeff, my buddy who pointed me in Tina’s direction.)
Aside from quality content and intelligent marketing, the secret to Tina’s success is that she’s a tremendously nice person. Now, I don’t know Tina personally, but I could quickly discern that she genuinely cares about her readers. Here’s a quote from last week’s article:
“Connecting with readers and potential readers is an essential part of my blogging success. Not only does it help my blog grow, but I absolutely love it. I have made many good friends this way. When people like you and feel that your content is valuable, they will tell their friends about it. I quickly discovered that many of my readers were emailing links to others, and referring many new subscribers.”
So what’s the difference between Tina and Trump, Stern, and Clinton? Why is she successful due to her kindness whereas the others are successful without any whatsoever? (Just roll with me Clinton fans.)
Well, to be honest, I can’t say for certain, but here’s my best guess: the medium.
The Internet, and blogging in particular, holds people accountable in a fashion that is both direct and immediate. If I’m pissed at a blogger, for example, I can write him/her a nasty email and stop reading his/her garbage. But if I’m feeling frisky, I could post a nasty article on Digg, Stumbleupon, and Reddit and form a movement that causes others to stop reading his/her garbage, as well. Now, that’s powerful.
Certainly, any person could form - and has formed - such a movement related to the Trumps, Sterns, and Clintons of the world, but the users that comprise the blogging community are already exceptionally integrated and technologically savvy, therein increasing their chances of creating a discernable impact. Additionally, as a newcomer to the world of blogging, one can only sustain a limited amount of negative buzz.
Like a true jerk, I now ask myself: what does all this information mean for me?
For one, I’m going to be sure I’m not a jerk.
Secondly, I’m going to make a commitment to respond to any and every email that you guys send my way. Moreover, I would like to strongly encourage you send me emails because I would like to get to know you as much as possible. Ask me for advice, an opinion, a favor, or even a date. Whatever. Just email me.
By tonight, there’ll be an easy “contact” link on the homepage.
Thirdly, I’m going to get some dinner. I know dinner has nothing to do with being/not being a jerk, but I’m hungry, and I’m tired of writing.
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